The Hidden Work No One Talks About: Emotional Labor

Written By Anne Hogge

Summer is here, but for many of us, that doesn’t mean rest. Lately, I’ve heard a familiar fatigue from clients and friends:

“Why am I so tired even when I’m not doing that much physically?”

This month in The Nest, we’re talking about emotional labor—the invisible work of managing not just your own emotions,

but everyone else’s too.

What Is Emotional Labor?

Emotional labor is the unpaid, often unacknowledged job of:

  • Keeping the peace after a long day

  • Anticipating your partner or child’s needs before they ask

  • Making sure everyone “feels okay,” even when you don’t

  • Soothing, supporting, and being the one who always initiates connection

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Emotional labor can feel like a second (or third) job—especially for those navigating parenting, relationships, and careers in their 30s and 40s. When it goes unspoken or unbalanced, it often leads to burnout, resentment, and disconnection.

How to Unload the Cognitive Load

✔ Do an Emotional Labor Inventory
Take notice this week of when you’re acting as the emotional manager—at home, work, or in relationships.

✔ Use “I” Statements to Share the Load
Try: “I’m feeling emotionally drained and need to share some of this work.” Be clear and direct about the kind of support you need.

✔ Name It Without Shame
Acknowledging emotional labor doesn’t make you dramatic—it makes you self-aware. That’s the first step to balance.

✔ Set Boundaries with Compassion
Protecting your bandwidth isn’t selfish. It’s what allows you to show up fully—for yourself and those you love.

Something New Is Coming…

I’m launching a podcast! It’s for those of us parenting and adulting in our 30s and 40s, filled with honesty, laughter, expert insights, and real-life stories.

Have a parenting question, topic you’d love us to cover, or story to share? Let’s connect — anne@wellnestva.com

Anne Hogge
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